A friend's mother made efforts to involve me in little things. Treats, decorating tree, presents. The things that nake a warm family atmosphere. Same for Halloween, new years ( drunk), b days all that. My parents were not severe by any means, mom i think was pimo and dad ran afoul the good old boys club. I remember going to b day parties. A well off cousin owned the rental k hall space in a little town and had new years parties there!
Look at Thanksgiving for the best compromises, about the only time for a family reunion